Paper Cut

I am so tired. I just finished our DEVC 10 report paper for our first exercise (Determining the views of rural Communities on Development). It's a group paper actually, but I volunteered to do the paper alone (after series of interviews or shall I say community ambush), and now I do not know why! Well, they're paying the bills too, don't you worry my friend, including the pc rent for this post hehe.  I managed to type 12 pages! Single-spaced man! I'm proud of what I did, and I realized— nagging works! Hehe. I have this guy groupmate who seriously thought I would wait for his answers (needed on 3rd and 4th part of the paper). I told him: "Hanggang 9:30 lang ako maghihintay. Pag wala pa sagot mo, print ko na to." Haha, poor guy, I had to use my evil powers!

Typical Monday

Boring as ever! Well, I enjoyed my ENG 2 class (lagi naman, may pogi kasi haha, joke ) but I'm quite disappointed kasi Ma'am Ai didn't return our report papers, huhuhu prolonging the agony huh?  She promised to give them back on Wednesday; waiting kills me, though. I worked really hard for that three-page report paper, I thought I wrote that one well. I can't stop thinking about how much I screwed my first paper on my college writing class. Huhuhu. Back to my typical monday, absent si sir TJ. So wala kami CMSC 2 class. Wrong timing si sir, I badly needed Internet access today kasi I'm waiting for e-mails para matapos ko na paper for my DEVC class. I heard there will be a practice exam tomorrow sa DEVC 10 class ko, and I just don't get that. I mean, that's so highschool. I started reading THE ORANGE GIRL by Jostein Gaarder; then, it started raining and  I fell asleep (with my room mate sleeping on the other side of the room). My room mate wakened me with her screams: "Diana, gising na! Diana! Diana!" I looked up to her and told her I'm not Diana. She was on her feet and looking wide awake!!! Yes, she's a sleep talker… and a sleep walker, apparently. I didn't have the energy to laugh because I was too sleepy, but darn that was really funny.

7 Minutes in Heaven

I love this song soooo much!!! Fall out boy rocks! I love Pete, kahit pang-display lang sya hehe. I burned this song about a month ago pero later ko lang talaga sya napakinggan. Thanks katrina for bringing FOB in to my life! LOL. Rock on.

7 Minutes in Heaven 

I'm sleeping my way out of this one
With anyone who will lie down
I'll be stuck fixated on one star
When the world is crashing down

I keep telling myself
I keep telling myself
I'm not the desperate type
But you've got me looking in through blinds

I'm sitting out dances on the wall
Trying to forget everything that isn't you
I'm not going home alone
Cause I don't do too well on my own

The only thing worse than not knowing
Is you thinking that I don't know
I'm having another episode
I just need a stronger dose

Take Over, The Breaks Over!

We love fallout boy!!! They're coming here on SEPTEMBER!!! Darn, I wanna watch the concert! 

TAKE OVER THE BREAKS OVER!

Class Hours

Time: 11:41

Location: UPLB Institute of Computer Science PCLab 2

Subject: CMSC 2

Instructor: TJ Monserrat

OS: Linux 

Terminal Program: Konsole:

mgarcia@peak-two:~$ ls
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ cd ..
mgarcia@peak-two:/home/students/1st2007-2008/CMSC2_EF1L$ ls
1st2007-2008  apalfonso  cbingco       egaddawe  jjmendoza   lidomingo  mgarcia     nmpaguirigan  rpasco
afpineda      bjdomingo  drbueno       fccampos  kadevera    lolalia    mmataya     pacuasay
ajuni         bpmanuel   eaapolinaria  jbrivera  ladioquino  mbreyes    mrbautista  rcambel
mgarcia@peak-two:/home/students/1st2007-2008/CMSC2_EF1L$ cd
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ pwd
/home/students/1st2007-2008/CMSC2_EF1L/mgarcia
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ mkdir backup
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ ls
backup
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ mkdir www
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ ls
backup  www
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ mkdir images
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ ls
backup  images  www
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ pwd
/home/students/1st2007-2008/CMSC2_EF1L/mgarcia
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ cd www
mgarcia@peak-two:~/www$ pwd
/home/students/1st2007-2008/CMSC2_EF1L/mgarcia/www
mgarcia@peak-two:~/www$ ls
mgarcia@peak-two:~/www$ cp /home/students/1st2007-2008/cmsc2_user/apodb.html .
mgarcia@peak-two:~/www$ ls
apodb.html
mgarcia@peak-two:~/www$ mv ../images .
mgarcia@peak-two:~/www$ ls
apodb.html  images
mgarcia@peak-two:~/www$ cd ..
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ ls
backup  redspot2_hst_f.jpg  www
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ mv redspot2_hst_f.jpg/www/images
mv: missing file argument
Try `mv –help' for more information.
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ mv redspot2_hst_f.jpg www/images/
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ ls
backup  www
mgarcia@peak-two:~$ cd www/images
mgarcia@peak-two:~/www/images$ ls
redspot2_hst_f.jpg
mgarcia@peak-two:~/www/images$ mv redspot2_hst_f.jpg redspot2_hst_c68.jpg
mgarcia@peak-two:~/www/images$
mgarcia@peak-two:~/www/images$

 My First Static Page:  http://10.0.4.1/~mgarcia/apodb.html

~~~~~~~~

WALA AKO NAIINTINDIHAN!!! HEHEHE.

The One with the HS Vid

Emtot, my high  school buddy, uploaded this video sa—-> dateeth.multiply.com —-> ang DATEETH Online na feeling ko eh ako lang, ikaw (emtot), si mega, si flor, si kata (minsan siguro pag di sya busy kakapanod ng maiingay na videos, hehe) ang nakakabasa. Ang DATEETH, para sa mga di nakakaintindi sa lenggwahe, ay ang official magazine-slash-tabloid (recycled yan hehe, pinunit na pages ng notbuk!) ng aming 4th year HS class with Em as the ed-chief, layout artist at writer! Jan po nakasulat ang lahat ng mga walang katotohanan, if ever totoo ay super exagerated, na news tungkol sa amin. Pero ngayon, online na sya (o da ba sosyal na? from pinunit na notbuk or gusot na intermediate pad to an official website!) Iniisip ko nga kung kaya nag-aaral si em sa Diliman ay para in the future ay matupad nya ang dream namin na ma-publish ang mga facez namin sa isang totoong magazine haha. Anyways, eto yung video kung san binandera ni em ang class picture namin (imposible naman makita nio ko jan ehehe). Sayang medyo di maganda resolution nung picture (hindi pala medyo, as in panget talaga!!), ancient na kasi hehe. (pina-scan mo pa ata ke ghil yung picture na un hehe) I had to upload the same vid sa youtube para ma-post dito. Effort talaga ha? ENjoy!!!

Public Apology

HOW TO SAY YOU're SORRY: by THE PEACE LOVING FLOR (de LuHa) 

9:00 am NASC 6 Class:

Maeryn: (pindot sa selpon, palihim) Flor, san tayo eat?

Flor: (reply) Sa ellen's na lang.

Maeryn: (text ulit, asa audi) Break (meaning hindi sabay) kaya muna tayo today ? Gutom na ko eh 1:00 pa labas mo, hilo na ko. una na ko eat?

Flor: (reply ulit) Sa Eat's na lang tayo.

Maeryn: (text) Ok, sige na nga wait na kita.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10 am, sa dorm:

Maeryn: (text text) Sige na nga intayin na kita. Buy mo na lang ako pag labas mo sleep muna ko.

Flor: NO REPLY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

12:30, Nakahiga sa living room:

(Dumating si sheila at Flor)

She: Uy, kumain ka na?

Maeryn: (bago gising, napatingin kay Flor) Di ba nagtext ako sayo???! Ang tagal ko naghintay. Kaya nga di ako kumain eh. (TAHIMIK)

(Walang imikan. Pasok si Flor sa room niya— guilty!)

Flor: (paglabas) Magpapabili ka pa ba?

Maeryn: [MUTE MODE. DRAMA EFFECT.]

She: Uy, kumain ka na…

(Kumain na ang dalawa, wala pa rin imikan, kung meron man mahina lang— uyy tensionado?!)

Maeryn: (text si sheila) Naiinis ako ke Flor.

She: (NO REPLY)

Maeryn: (pasok sa kwarto kasama si she) Hay, bad trip talaga ako kanina pa. Kahit si Kring di ko kinakausap eh. Natakot nga ata sa akin kanina, inirapan ko kasi hehe pagpasok niya sa room, bago gising din kasi ako tapos yun lumipat ako sa sofa kala siguro galit ako. Ay si Flor, ang tagal ko kaya naghintay. Sinabi ko na nga na uuna na ko eh sya naman may sabi na sa Eats na lang kami. Grabe.

She: [Nakikinig lang. TAwa lang.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5:30, HUM 2 Class:

(Classmates kami ni Flor. Seatmates pa.)

Flor: Uy.

Maeryn: (super cold, hindi itinabi yung chair ke flor) uy..

Flor: (hawak artwork niya, ilang pa rin, parang takot) iniba mo pa ba yang sayo?

Maeryn: (Lumingon pero cold pa din) Hindi na.

Wala na Imikan. Tensionado pa rin. Presentation sa harap ng class:

Flor: (hawak collage niya) [explain.. explain…]

Maeryn: (nagpipigil ng tawa) sa isip: luka talaga tong si obispado, paiyak na. Uy, seryoso.

Flor: (ANG HIRIT) Kaya color blue tong ginamit ko paper kasi gusto ko ng Peace. Kaya *Maeryn* PEACE NA TAYO. [nakatingin sa akin, with matching *peace* sign pa!]

CLASS: NAKATINGIN SA AKIN LAHAT.

Maeryn: (natulala) Smile na lang…

Flor: (balik upuan) Kinabahan ako.

Maeryn: (Lumapit na. Sabay hampas ke Flor) Bruha ka talaga!

The Kill

What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?

What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do?

Bluer than Blue

Ang corny ng title! LOL. Anyways, Super LSS ako sa song na to kahapon pa. Nakita ko kasi sa i-pod ni ate and it dawned on me na eto talaga nafi-feel ko ngayon. Haay super sad kasi talaga ako lately. Basta everything's changing and super naninibago ako. I miss people. I miss Mega- na alam kong happy na sa Cavite [Bruha ka kasi lumipat pa school, gaggy di mo kami mapapaltan! ]. I miss my room mates- kahit pa dapat eh kami yung nagkikita madalas. I miss the old times!People… yoko dumating yung time na i'd stop missing you. I don't think I can deal with that. ;(

So here's the song by Sanctus Real. I'm Not Alright.

If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of,
Then cool is just how far we have to fall
I am not immune-I only wanna be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall
Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth, I need to confess

I'm not alright
I'm broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride, bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
and when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
only you are there to lead me on
Because honestly, I'm not that strong

I'm not alright - I'm broken inside, broken inside
and all i go through - it leads me to you, it leads me to you

(and now i'm moved, and now i'm moved, and now i'm moved)closer to you

I'm not alright - I'm broken inside, broken inside
I'm broken inside, broken inside
and all I go through leads me to you, leads me to you

I'm not alright - I'm not alright - I'm not alright
Thats why I need you

 

Smoke and Dust

I feel like I need you now. Or maybe just a cup of coffee. I feel cold. Somewhere in this solitary moment, I feel like you.

Smoke and dust intertwine as they fill this empty room. Dancing like I'll be out of cigar soon. Crawling in the dark, snooping and peeking… trying to come inside my filthy nostrils. I feel rather nauseous. Gripping this half-cold, half-empty bottle of beer. I am alone. I know.. I am now.

Uninvited earthquake. The room is trembling. There was this sparkling light from the shivering crystals of the chandelier. I heaved a sigh and looked up. I was disgusted with what I saw. A broken glass, heavily ripped apart although still intact to the wooden ceiling. Shame. What a horrible sight there is. And to mock your own reflection. To see something you wished you'd never see. To see the truth. To see the real you.

Am I lost? Am I the monster you  created? Am I the product of the evolutionary concept you were talking about? Or am I  just doomed to be this person I never wanted to be? 

I remember you. Your face. Your lifeless shadow. Your arrogant look. I remember you. All of you.

I am immortalizing my thoughts. Your voice is screaming in my head. "Let go. Set free." But I won't. I never will. For your past is embossed on my present and mine in yours. I won't let it spread out. I won't let it contaminate my soul. I have been there. Letting go means remembering you and all the pain. Yes, I have been there. And I won't let you do it again. You'll have no chance of tormenting me. With your lies. With your unfaithfulness. With your empty love for me.

======~~~~~~~======

I am very much familiar with the feeling of being left behind.. the feeeling of losing the one you trust, the one you're very much comfortable with.. the one you called a bestfriend. I have accustomed myself to that. It's just a matter of getting used to the pain and limiting the possibilities of remembering the memories you've made together. But the saddest thing about this process of disengaging yourself from the past is that no matter how hard you try and no matter how many times you say you can move on, you will always find yourself empty, always craving for the thing that you tried to let go. I guess this is reality. There is no such thing as moving on. 'Cause everybody seems to love the chase. Maybe all we really need is a moment to STOP… and the courage to never look back.

–maeryn

december 15, 2006

11:50 pm