Past is..

Blog hopping finally pays off. How written words can change first impressions: that's something I have yet to discover. Hihi. I can't believe my classmate and groupmate enzo writes well. Super kolokoy kasi. peace man. Quote ko lang mga lines nagustuhan ko sa post nia na Message to the Angel:

"The past is burnt in the mind of the dying…"

"The past is sculpted in the memory of the sufferer…"

"The past is written with a knife upon the chest of the fool and the witless man…"

"The past is bured upon the heart of the despairer and clouds his future with unrelenting pain…."

"The past is the pain in every pain the man has felt upon the shadow of his loss…."

"The past is held by hands that bleed yet is unable to let go…"

"The past is unforgiving…"

"The past forsakes…"

"The past slowly kills and throttles…"

"The past is no further…."

"The past is you…."

-zerothirteen

The Saddest Poem in Tagalog

This is why I love my ENG 2 Class.

Towards the end of our class she let us read a tagalog poem which I found very familiar. I wasn't so sure if I was thinking of the same poem because I thought I read that one in English. Yes, it was Pablo Neruda's. The one that I have read years ago. Okay, so the poem has a Tagalog translation, sorry naman di ba? I didn't know.  I found this poem on Nanoy's old blog four years ago [nung times na tinuturuan niya ko magsulat]. Pero I liked the Tagalog version better. Mas naramdaman ko.

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.

Maisusulat ko, halimbawa: "Mabituin ang gabi
at nanginginig, bughaw ang mga tala sa malayo."

Lumiligid sa langit ang simoy-gabi at umaawit.

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.
Minahal ko siya, at minahal din niya ako paminsan-minsan.

Sa mga gabing ganito, ibinilanggo ko siya sa aking mga bisig.
Ulit-ulit ko siyang hinagkan sa lilim ng walang-hanggang langit.

Minahal niya ako, paminsan-minsan ko rin siyang minahal.
Sino ang hindi iibig sa kaniyang malalaki't mga matang tahimik.

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.
Maiisip kasing hindi na siya akin. Madaramang wala na siya sa akin.

Maririnig ang gabing malawak, at mas lumalawak kung wala siya.
At pumapatak sa kaluluwa ang bersong tila hamog sa pastulan.

Maano kung hindi siya mabantayan ng aking pag-ibig.
Mabituin ang gabi at hindi siya kapiling.

Ito na ang lahat. May umaawit sa malayo. Sa malayo.
Hindi mapanatag ang kaluluwa ko sa pagkawala niya.

Upang waring ilapit siya, hinahanap siya ng aking mata.
Hinahanap siya ng aking puso, at hindi siya kapiling.

Ganito rin ag gabing nagpapusyaw sa ganito ring mga punongkahoy.
Kami, sa tagpong iyon ang nagbago.

Hindi ko na siya mahal, natitiyak ko, ngunit minahal ko siya nang todo.
Hinahanap ng tinig ko ang simoy upang hipuin ang kaniyang pandinig.

Nasa iba. Siya'y nasa iba. tulad noong katalik siya ng aking mga halik.
Ang kaniyang tinig, malinaw na katawan. Ang kaniyang matang walang-hanggan.

Hindi ko na siya mahal, natitiyak ko, ngunit baka mahal ko siya.
Napakaikli ng pag-ibig, napakahaba ng paglimot.

Dahil sa mga gabing ganito na ibinilanggo ko siya sa aking mga bisig
hindi mapanatag ang kaluluwa ko sa pagkawala niya.

Kahit ito na ang huling pighating ipapataw niya sa akin,
at ito ang huling mga bersong isusulat ko para sa kaniya.

isinalin ni Virgilio Almario

Fallen

 I can't write anything that would explain this, whatever this is, that I am currently feeling. So I'm letting Sarah Mclachlan speak [or sing] for me.  

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen…
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so…

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen…
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so…

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

- Sarah Mclachan